User blog comment:Akatosh the Dragon god of time/The Story of Titnus/@comment-25101508-20141203023629

I'm very interested in what happens text in this story. However, I must point out that you made several grammatical errors. Remember punctuation and to captilize certain letters. Also, use spell check and read over your story out loud to see if it makes sense.

Try to watch out for repetition. You wrote Rift twice in one sentence. You could have wrote, "We are going to attack Fort {Insert Name}. If we succesffully occupy the base, we would have access to Riften."

What felt odd is that Rikke was explaining the battle plan to Tullius. Normally, the general would be making the plans. If I wore you, I would have wrote the story as if Tullius and Rikke were explaining the plans to Titnus.