Board Thread:Roleplaying/@comment-3293219-20160605202324/@comment-5543592-20160609001258

"No, but it could be a lot worse.  I knew this fellow once, who thought it would be a good idea to take people huntin'.  City folk, you know?  Who hadn't never seen an animal larger than a rat that ate too much.  Out in Hammerfell we got lions.  Fierce things, with lotsa teeth an- you know what a lion is, don't ya?"

"Right.  Well, Pitch--that's his name--he got some posters printed up, but borrowed some money from his girl in order to do it.  And so she thought she should get a piece of the money once he got people to pay for this trip.  Well, the first money came in, and they got in a fight and ended up stabbing him right in his special place, if you know what I mean.  So he stumbles out into the street all bleedin', and that's where the guards found him and told him you can't be killin' no lions.  There's a law about it, see, and as they're some kind of noble natural treasure, or some such."

"Anyway, they took Pitch and stuffed him in jail, where they slammed the bars--by accident--on his damn fingers.  Broke his hand up right good, and he can't bend the tips of his fingers no more."

"This may not sound like it helps ya at all, but whenever I'm thinking my life is miserable, I remember him, and tell myself, 'Well, Crimson.  At least you ain't a broke, dickless feller that can't even pick his own nose properly.'  And I feels better."