Board Thread:Roleplaying/@comment-25828117-20200130020211/@comment-5543592-20200130211654

Nyasia tapped her lip, taking a moment to find the right words. She parsed the words slowly at first, saying them as they came to her. "Well... it starts something along these lines. Everyone wants to be my friend, or thinks I need protecting, or want to second guess me.  Like I'm some controversial figure; everyone has to have an opinion.  Even Helian sometimes won't say things to me, because he's worried how I'll react.  It's hard to figure out if that's because of where I came from or actually because of who I am as a person.  But the person I am, that I'm becoming, isn't something I control." She talked with animation, hands moving in expansive gestures. "I watched an assassin kill my lifelong friend and am now living with the knowledge that he has some demented plan for me.  A soul-stealing creature from Oblivion came to kill Shrava, and instead hunted me across Kvatch.  Some how I survived that.  And then there's the Shehai, which is something I can do now.  It is a power that comes directly from the gods; it is literally miraculous. But I didn't feel any different because of it.  With everything that's happened, with everything that's going on, I feel I should have some sense, some grasp, of what's going.  But I don't.  I am certain of even less than when I've started," she laughed, voice rising not in bitterness but a kind of bleak acceptance, "the one thing I'm certain of is my own uncertainty!  What's changed me is not what I can do, or what I've learned, but what's been done to me.  I have no agency, at all." She took a deep breath, at the conclusion of her speech, "And I think it's important I recognize that.  What's happened, what's going to happen, it's entirely out of my control.  So that's what I mean when I say it goes beyond just being royalty.  All of this... it is a result of my name popping up on a magic scroll.  I never stood a chance."