Board Thread:Roleplaying/@comment-17114085-20151005194811/@comment-5583506-20151010001735

"Let's just get this over with", she said lowly.

She was angry with herself. She had lost her mask. She had been unable to control herself the very instant she had seen Ar'Jadhi. And Pierre had seen her... He had told her that he couldn't make any promises of ever being capable of finding a spot for her in his heart. But from what she had heard it had at least sounded like a possibility. A possibility that was now dead and gone. How would he ever be able to trust her, to care for her, after seeing a fragment of her true self? The somber, hollow and aggressive self that had taken form from the very moment her father had started beating on her for just existing, and who had been carefully chiseled by the pain caused by her husband Ma'Draro and his kin. The result was her. The result was a Khajiit who had to constantly feed herself the lie of a new persona. If she truly believed that she was the silly, childish Rikki, then perhaps the pain would go away? But for all the years it had taken her to build up that facade, it had ultimately started to collapse following Cat's kidnapping, and now the very sight of Ar'Jadhi.

There was no recovery from this. What was she supposed to do? Pretend to be childish Rikki again? No one would buy that lie... least of all herself, and yet she needed that dumb Khajiit to remain stable, to remain calm...