Board Thread:Roleplaying/@comment-25828117-20190911184542/@comment-5583506-20190912005121

Once things had calmed down a bit downstairs, Kashya curiously crept down to the lower deck. She made sure that as soon as she was out of sight from any of the grieving crewmembers, she discreetly entered the room where they had put the dead Khajiit. Apart from the gruesome head wound he looked serene, almost at peace. As if this was the inner wish all living beings so desperately desired and cried out for.

She sat down next to him, glancing him over. He wasn't that bad looking, a catch for any single Khajiiti woman.

"They say that everyone who dies should have at least one person to mourn for them", she said. "You can consider yourself lucky to have such comrades, and a brother on top of that, to shed tears over your passing."

There was a still silence within the cabin, apart from the rustling of the crewmates' feet and the creaking of hull boards.

She cracked a small smile. "You know... this one was born special, they say. Her father said that because her mother died shortly after giving birth to Kashya, that this one was neither truly alive or dead. More like something in-between: a living being born from the dead; born from a corpse. That because of that, Kashya was always more in tune with the dead than she was the living."

There was a slight creaking noise from somewhere within the cabin.

"This one does not know if that is the case, but she suppose that there is a grain of truth in there. Life just was not for this one. Life was ..." She made a short pause as she tried to find the right words. "... life was cruel to this one. She learned that at a very young age, at a too young age. It was a lesson she would not have wished upon her worst enemy, but nevertheless a lesson she received."

She scratched herself on the top side of her left hand as she reflected over some distant memory. "You might even say that the lessons broke this one. She barely recalls anything of herself from before those cruel lessons, so in a way they made Kashya. They made her realize that her life from that point onward was rendered null. Kashya's life, you might say, ended before it even had a chance to begin. But despite those cruel lessons, Kashya took control of her own life, and dedicated them to a quest for knowledge of what she had to expect afterwards."

The creaking was heard right next to her. She nodded slowly as she gazed upon the body. "But you already know what awaits afterwards now, do you not? It is in a way ironic. Kashya dedicated her entire life to seek out what happens once we shut our eyes for good. You might blame Kashya for being cowardly. For not ending herself if she so desperately sought her own death. And you would most likely be right. Kashya is scared. That much is true. Scared and curious. She wants to know what awaits beyond the veil of Death, but not before it is truly her time. What if Kashya slits her own wrists, and lies down to bleed out in peace somewhere, only to learn that what awaits her is ... nothing? Then it would have all been for naught. And this one cannot have that."

A cold presence made itself known, though she found the cold rather soothing and timid.

She shook her head. "No. This one needs something. A little piece of heaven, you might say. Some sort of proof that Death is only the beginning of something far greater than ourselves. Something that would make her own demise all the more appealing when the time finally comes, you know? Hence why this one accepted the offer of the Dark Brotherhood, when they approached her for the first time. By giving others the gift of Death, she could study it more closely, learn from it, change from it, to understand what sort of existence awaited her when the heart stops beating and all senses are numb and gone."

A couple of creaking steps came closer to the body where she was sitting right next to it.

"This one does not expect you to understand. After all, it is the first time we meet, the last time as well, despite having spent days aboard this ship. This just is not something she can discuss with the living."

She turned around. A shape flickered. The vague contour of a Khajiit man. The expression on his face was out of focus, but she could distinguish the details to that of shock and sadness upon seeing his own lifeless body before him.

"This one thought that you had drifted away for good", she told the shape. "She saw you, right after the incident."

The shade turned its head to look at her, still at a loss for words and his face twisted in a silent sob. It was as if he was slowly coming to his senses as to what had just happened. As if he had just woken up from his sleep, only to find that the nightmare he had been having was real all along, and wouldn't go away, no matter how much he wished for it.

"This one does not understand what you must feel right now", she lamented in a toneless voice. "But she can guess. Perhaps you would like to share with Kashya?"

The shape's mouth moved but no sound was emitted.

"Can you tell this one what you are seeing?" she asked. "What is it like?"

The shape looked perplexed and lost at the same time, ultimately giving his own body one final, solemn look. He then looked at Kashya and gave her a subtle nod, before eventually disapparating, fading into a still nothingness. The cold seemed to lift and she found herself all alone with the body.

She sighed. "Not a talker, this one either."