Perdix

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Bravil with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old Breton prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. My childhood was typical. Summers in Cheydinhal, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really."

- Perdix, The Gray Fox.